I’m sitting here asking myself, “Why are you single?” Then I think of the answer and/or answers. I’m not going to go into my last few relationships, because I could swear they were all Bi-Polar. But I thought about going to Walmart with my friend Liz. Her and I were in Walmart, we were in the checkout line, I went ahead of her because I had a couple of things and she had a whole shopping cart. After I checked out, I was up by a soda cooler, Liz just paid with her stuff with her card and then she decides that she wants a soda.
Liz, “Parks do you have a dollar? Because I want to get a soda.”
Me, “Look at you talking to me like you know me.”
Liz, “I know, right. We just met in the kitty litter section.”
Me, “I know! I so misunderstood you when you said that you needed to get something for your pussy!”
Well she turned red and started apologizing to the cashier that was laughing and the other Walmart employee that was behind her in line, that walked away laughing. Then Liz calls me a jerk. lol
Then I think about a conversation between my daughters Mom and I. It was after both of us were in two separate car accidents. Actually I think it was after her second accident, both of which she was hit from behind. My accident I was the passenger, (I’ll blog about that later) Anyway neither one of us were able to pick up the fish tank and she wanted to change the water. So she grabs a small hose and a small bucket. She starts siphon the water out. After she was done, I wasn’t thinking, I gave her a kiss to tell her sorry that I couldn’t be much help. But instead of saying something sweet, I say, “Damn girl! For once in your life, both sets of lips, taste the same!”
Then I thought of another time with my daughters mom. We took the kids to Disney, there was a guy at the entrance checking bags.
So I ask him, “Hey man do you have to check my bag also?”
He says, “Yeah”
So I put my hand on my daughters Moms back and I push her forward. The look on the guys face was priceless and then he says, “You’re a whole lot braver than I am! My wife would kill me, if I did something like that.” I just laugh and say, “Well, she knows how I am” My daughters Mom says, “He thinks he’s funny”
After I thought of those three stories, I say to myself, “No wonder why I’m single!” lol